Talk

Maintaining Friendships & Dropping The Toxic

January 31, 2017

Hey hey guys! How is everyone doing?

January just FLEW by, where did the time go?! It’s Tuesday and I’m still on a high from such a wild good weekend.

I hope your week is off to a good one! 

I went to San Jose to visit my oldest best friend, Danielle. We’ve been friends since 4th grade and don’t see each other often since we live in different cities, but when we do it’s like nothing has changed. Those are the best friendships right?!

Those are the friendships that will last a lifetime.

Anyways, around my birthday I came to this realization that I really wanted to make it a point to see my friends more. I have been blessed to have such great people in my life, but at times I get lazy when it comes to making plans.

Living in San Jose, then moving to San Diego, then to San Francisco has made keeping in touch a bit harder.

Maintaining friendships: aka grabbing coffee, FaceTiming regularly, happy hours, talking on the weekends to catch up, whatever- is so important to a lasting friendship. Spending time with friends not only lifts your spirits from laughing so much, it’s good to vent to someone other than say your boyfriend. I know Ry can get overwhelmed with my girl talk LOL.

Good friendships shape you in more ways than you think. If you surround yourself with inspiring, smart, and supportive friends you’ll feel motivated, more confident, get instant reality checks, and overall just happier.

We have 24 hours in a day, there’s always room for friends.

I just started saying “yes“, and have literally seen my friends more in that past week than Ryan haha. When a close friend wants to hang out, put all aside (besides big responsibilities like work) and MAKE TIME. Also, reach out! Nothing is worse than the oh so typical girl response: “Hope all is well, we should catch up soon.” text because let’s be real, you and I both know, that catch up date isn’t happening for a long, long time.

& please don’t be that person that excludes their friends once they get into a relationship.

That’s one thing I really do take pride in, my friends have always been equal to my boyfriend and my very closest, like family.

Now…the toxic.

I mean that’s a pretty strong word, but you get what I mean, not good for you friends!

I’ll try to be brief with this topic, since there isn’t much to say. If someone is constantly negative or always complaining (& don’t get me wrong I understand if someone is having a bad day or even a bad week), but a constant debbie downer will only tire you out.

Who wants to live like that? Not me.

I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago and we were talking about the effect of someone constantly complaining has the same effect of someone that constantly boasts about their life. Hearing people boast is just exhausting, it gets old. If you’re supportive and share with friends how proud you are of them, the need to gloat is inconsequential. Also people who constantly flake out on plans, it happens, but when it becomes consistent…ain’t nobody got time for that.

I’m learning rather quickly that the older we get, the less time we should spend on sh*t we don’t want.

Life is short, don’t waste time on friendships that wear you out! Put all your energy into the ones you cherish most, trust me, your life will be much better with people who you admire most.

PS. If there’s a friend that you’ve been missing, but just sort of stopped talking to, reach out to them. There’s a good chance they miss you too. 


I would love to hear your thoughts! What are your favorite ways to keep in touch? Did you ever have a toxic friend that gave you instant anxiety? Let’s talk about it.

Happy Tuesday babes.

XO,

AlyssaIMG_8988

{ Danielle & I doing what we do best ( having fun ;D ) at Sarah’s Vineyard in Gilroy }

 

 

My AllSaints long suede jacket is currently sold out, but similar jackets are linked below:

 

 

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