Talk

8 Things About Long Distance Relationships (& How I Made It Work)

March 14, 2016

Hellooo from the other siiide. And Happy Monday!

I wanted to blog about long distance relationships because I know a thing or two about them. I know that they’re not for everyone and I know some things that will help make it last (hopefully).

Long distance relationships simply take more effort.  Don’t be discouraged by failure, it could have nothing to do with you. You know the saying, It’s not me, it’s you – this would be the case.

I know this is kind of a duuhh thing to say, but communication is key. Gosh I hate things that sound cliche, but this is too damn important not to mention. Regular phone calls/texts/FaceTime dates should suffice if you have your own life and are being productive.

If you know you’re a dependent person, do not be in a long distance relationship. It just won’t work.

Now let me tell you how Ry and I made it work. (no particular order)

I met Ryan when I lived in San Diego. I just moved out from my living with my parents in San Jose and I was free! (lol) I was experiencing life all on my own and I loved every second of it. When people say your college years are your best years – they aint lyin. (Whether you’re in a relationship or not, it’s just a good time to be young, travel, and do whatever you want!)

Before we made it “official”, we had a lot of time getting to know each other. Actually, what instantly made us close was our mutual love for travel.

#1 Make sure your passions align, not all but deff some

We love traveling and I had been dying to meet someone with my spontaneous spirit and just take off with me! A little after we first met I said, lets take off to New York for New Years!! There wasn’t a second of doubt from him and we booked that flight! We didn’t even really know each other, but again, I admired the spontaneity.

#2 Have different passions so you have something ELSE to talk about

It’s great in the beginning when you both are like “OMG ME TOO!” in every conversation. But eventually talking about your similar interests will get old.

The saying opposites attract has some truth. With us, there was always something to talk about. We had totally different interests, backgrounds and upbringings, we were in different stages of our lives – I was in college and he already had his career started.

The worst thing you can do is run out of things to say or not have enough to talk about. Have similar but different backgrounds and interests.

It could literally be anything! Like different taste in music, style, hobbies, eating habits, anything! Shed light on your passions. It’s so inspiring, even if you don’t agree, it’s interesting and something new.

#3 Long distance works the best when you first meet

Imagine if you were in a relationship for years and then had to spend time apart? That would be dreadful! Of course you would miss the other person too much!

Like I said, I met Ry when I lived in SoCal and he lived in San Francisco. This was the best time to have met someone. I was busy growing up and experiencing life, college, meeting new people, making friends, STUDYING! I needed that time to myself. And I got it and loved having someone new in my life that wasn’t always physically there. And he understood that.

#4 Have a goal in mind

What is the point of your long distance relationship?

Where do we wish to be in 1/3/5 years?

#5 Communicate Creatively

Always have something to look forward to.

This is probably the easiest and best part about it! Of course, looking forward to seeing each other is the most exciting! Always have a day planned to see each other next – even if it means months ahead…have a set date.

We had a lot of movie dates. I would be so excited to come home from school after a long day and just relax, watch a show or movie, (sometimes we would FT as we watched a movie to make it feel more real? Idk lmfao but that got too hard) then we would FaceTime each other after and talk about how funny it was or how good the show was getting.

Books too.

Oh, and snail mail! This is totally a thing for long distance couples. Send a cute package or a letter with a small gift. Something exciting and it’s a sweet gesture.

Little stuff.

#6 Set ground rules to manage expectations

This just all ends up revolving around communication. For instance, if you’re the type to go out (which I was), you need to share the deets just as if you were in the same city.

Create trust.

#7 Know each others schedules

Sometimes I didn’t know how busy Ry was when we first met and I would be like OOOK he didn’t text me back, and my school schedule was HECTIC. I was always in class or in the library or meeting with a group and it may have seemed like I was ignoring him, but I was just really busy.

He had my full schedule of classes and I knew his work routine. We both knew appropriate times we could communicate.

#8 Lastly, it’s an opportunity to see what its like to live together

Personally, I wouldn’t move in with someone in the first year of a relationship, let alone if we had just gotten together (that’s just what I wanted for me). I LOVED my independence in San Diego. Maybe it was the growing up with strict parents haha

So 2 years later, we decided to move in together. I already knew his habits and he knew mine. And ta-daa there weren’t any surprises when we moved in together, and that was perfect.

These are the things that made my relationship work and grow. They may not be for everyone and are just my opinion, but hopefully I could shed some light for those out there thinking about getting into a LD relationship or are in the early stages of one. All these things should at least get you thinking about some possible situations that will arise.

Oh, and if you’re in a LD relationship with someone who is in the army or military that is a totally different story, communication is 10x’s harder and you gotta be one strong girl (or guy) to be in that type of relationship!

Long distance relationships are a lot of work, and need a lot of trust, but are so fun and give you the independence to grow. Not to mention, the day when you’re finally together in the same city, makes it all soo worthwhile. 

DCS_3206

{London, UK}

XO

– Alyssa

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